Journey to the West – Episode 1: The Carp That Looked Like a Man
A fish is watching you. Not just any fish. A carp the size of your forearm, scales like dirty gold, its mouth opening and closing in the still morning air. But it's the eyes. The eyes fix on you the way a man's do when he's about to speak. About to say – please.
Chen Guangrui holds her in his hands. He can still feel the river's cold on the creature's skin, that stone-cold chill rising up from the depths of the Hong. And beneath the scales – you feel it, you can't not feel it – the heartbeat. The smell of mud, that stays. It clings to your fingers, packs under your nails.
It isn't a fish. He knows this. He doesn't know why. But he knows it in his bones, somewhere past thought.
And to understand why, you have to go back. To an embroidered ball falling from a tower. To a mother saying: go, but come home soon.
Chang'an. Thirteenth year of the Zhenguan era, the reign of Emperor Taizong of the Tang. The yellow edict races through every prefecture, every county, every village where someone can still grip a brush. Imperial silk bears the Seal of the Son of Heaven, and wherever it passes, young men straighten their backs.
In Haizhou, a boy reads it. Chen E, courtesy name Guangrui. He goes back to his mother, Lady Zhang, and says: I want to try. I'll bring honor to you and to our house.
His mother smiles. She wipes her hands on her apron – hands still white with flour. And she says: "You study when you're young, but you set out when you're grown. Go, but take care of yourself. And come home soon."
And then – well, what else is there to do? – he leaves. Three sessions. Policy, administration, the classics. His brush trembles only on the first line. Then it doesn't. Then it's a river.
First. Zhuàngyuán, top of the imperial examinations. Three days of procession on horseback through the capital's streets, the sound of hooves on washed stone, petals drifting from balconies like red snow.
From a tower balcony, a girl holds an embroidered ball between her fingers. Yin Wenjiao, called Mantangjiao – "She Who Fills the Hall with Beauty." Daughter of the Prime Minister. She looks down. Her hand hasn't moved yet. Her heart has already chosen.
The ball falls.
Straight onto Guangrui's hat. He feels the weight of silk on his head, the scent of jasmine in the fabric, the sound of maids rushing and calling out. He looks up. She's already gone behind the curtain.
Marriage. Bow to Heaven and Earth. The bridal chamber. The breath of two strangers drawing close, tangling, becoming one.
At dawn, the appointment: governor of Jiangzhou.
Guangrui returns to his mother in Haizhou. He kneels. "By your blessing I am zhuàngyuán, son-in-law to the Prime Minister, and governor. I want to bring you with us."
Lady Zhang packs their things. All three set out. Late spring. A light wind. The willows already green. And a thin rain – the kind that soaks you before you notice – dotting the roadside flowers red.
After a few days, the Ten Thousand Flowers Inn. Run by a man called Liu Xiaoer. Lady Zhang feels ill. Her face gray. Her hands shaking over her cup.
"Let's stay a couple of days. I can't take any more road."
Three days pass. The imperial order presses down like a hand on the back of his neck. Guangrui kneels beside his mother's bed.
"I have to go on. Are you feeling better?"
"Not yet," she sighs. "In this heat I'd only get worse. Rent me a small place here. Leave me a little money and go ahead with your wife. In autumn, when it cools, you can come back for me."
And so they do. A small house. A few coins on a rough wooden table. Lady Zhang stands in the doorway, hands still damp from rice – she'd been making lunch. She watches them leave. She doesn't call out.
The next morning, a fisherman passes with a golden carp.
Guangrui buys it. He wants to cook it for his mother. But the fish stares at him. Blinking, like a man. Like someone who recognizes you.
You're no ordinary fish, he murmurs.
He asks the fisherman where he caught it. The Hong River. Fifteen lǐ south – just over four miles on foot.
Guangrui looks at the carp. The carp looks at Guangrui. And he walks down to the river, bends over the gray water, and lets her go. The scales flash for a moment beneath the surface. Then nothing.
Lady Zhang, from the window of her small house, smiles. Setting a creature free is a good act, she says to herself.
A small gesture, after all. A fish given back to the water. Nothing more.
Or maybe not.
Guangrui wipes his hands. Mounts his horse. His wife settles beside him, jasmine still in her hair. The road picks up again. South, toward the Hong River. Toward the ford.
In autumn, he'll come back for his mother.
The river, under the afternoon light, is calm. Very calm.
Too calm, if you ask me.
